How Custody Arrangements Shape A Child’s Mental Health

Imagine being eight years old and hearing your parents say they’re getting a divorce. You don’t fully understand what’s happening, but you know everything is about to change. Where will you live? Will you still see both parents? These questions matter—a lot. Research shows that how custody is handled can have a lasting impact on a child’s mental health.

Regarding custody, we are speaking about two types:

-          legal custody, which determines who makes decisions about a child’s upbringing (education, healthcare, etc.).

-          physical custody, which determines where the child lives.

When we refer to joint custody in this article, we’re specifically discussing joint physical custody, where children spend substantial time living with both parents. Likewise, sole custody here refers to sole physical custody, where the child primarily resides with one parent, even if both parents share legal custody.

One of the biggest custody debates is whether children do better in joint physical custody, where both parents share time, or sole physical custody, where one parent has primary responsibility for physical custody. Studies overwhelmingly favor joint physical custody, showing that kids in shared arrangements tend to have higher self-esteem, fewer emotional issues, and better academic performance than those in sole custody (Bauserman, 2002). Of course, each case is unique, and in some instances, it is critical for a child’s health and safety that one parent has sole custody, but generally the consensus is preferred joint custody, when possible.

Sole physical custody, especially when one parent is mostly absent, can increase risks of anxiety, depression, and feelings of rejection (Nielsen, 2018). When possible, maintaining a relationship with both parents is beneficial to a child’s long-term well-being.

A child’s reaction to custody arrangements depends on their age:

-Preschoolers (2–5 years old) struggle with separation anxiety. They need frequent, short visits to maintain a sense of security (Buscho, 2024).

-School-age children (6–12 years old) often experience loyalty conflicts, feeling pressured to “choose” a parent. Consistent routines help them adjust.

-Teenagers (13–18 years old) seek independence and prefer flexibility. Ignoring their input can lead to rebellion or emotional withdrawal (APA, 2002).

Tailoring custody arrangements to a child’s developmental needs reduces stress and improves adjustment. More than the type of custody itself, high parental conflict has the biggest negative impact on kids. Constant arguments, badmouthing, and legal battles create an environment of chronic stress and anxiety (Nielsen, 2017).

That said, joint physical custody can still work even when parents don’t get along. Studies show that children in joint physical custody do better than those in sole custody—even in moderate conflict situations (Vowels et al., 2023). The key is to protect kids from conflict. Strategies like parallel parenting (where parents avoid direct contact but still co-parent) help maintain stability.

Long-term, children in joint physical custody generally thrive emotionally and academically compared to those in sole custody. Losing contact with one parent, however, is linked to higher rates of depression and difficulty forming relationships later in life (Nielsen, 2018).

Custody isn’t just about where a child sleeps, it’s about their emotional security. The best outcomes happen when:

A.)   Kids maintain healthy relationships with both parents.

B.)   Parents minimize conflict and avoid putting kids in the middle.

C.)  Custody plans adapt to the child’s needs.

Divorce is hard for everyone involved, but with the right support, children can adjust, heal, and thrive—no matter how their family structure changes.

Works Cited

American Psychological Association. (2002). Children likely to be better adjusted in joint vs. sole custody arrangements. APA Press Release.

Bauserman, R. (2002). Child adjustment in joint-custody versus sole-custody arrangements: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Family Psychology, 16(1), 91–102.

Braver, S., et al. (2003). Relocation of children after divorce and children’s best interests: New evidence and legal considerations. Journal of Family Psychology, 17(2), 206–219.

Buscho, A. G. (2024). “What Is Your Children’s Experience of Two Homes After a Divorce?” Psychology Today.

Nielsen, L. (2017). Re-examining the research on parental conflict, coparenting, and custody arrangements. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 23(2), 211–223.

Nielsen, L. (2018). Joint versus sole physical custody: Outcomes for children independent of parent–child relationship, income, and conflict. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 59(4), 247–281.

Vowels, L. M., et al. (2023). Systematic review and theoretical comparison of children’s outcomes in post-separation living arrangements. PLOS ONE, 18(7): e0288610.